17/8/12

Writing: World 1-1

I gotta do this, I gotta make it, I gotta save... Everyone.

I'm the hero, I'm meant to do that, I'm the only one who can save everything.

Save all... From who? Ugh... I don't remember. There are people, people who want the world obeying them, and me... Dead. But who are they? Why can't I remember? I feel like I should know, but I don't recall ever learning...

Is this all that I am? A hero? A servant. Destined to save everyone, but a serf nonetheless. I don't want to be a slave. But i don't want to let anyone down. I love them all, but do they love me back? I can't ever remember a kind word for any of my good actions, no one ever thanking me.

Why amb I fighting? What have the bad guys done? Do they really want to kill me? I know for sure I've never fought for my life before. And yet I know I will. And I will need to fight back if I wanna live. How? What's my fighting style? But I feel my instincts will take care of that for me.

 My subconscious. I rely on it too much. Do I?

A part of me that tells me nothing except to leave everything to it. Just do as it says. Who is it? I know it's natural having a subconscious, but... Is it my subconscious?

But I know one thing. I know about her. I don't know if it knows about her, but I know I do. She's really the only thing that makes me obey my subconscious.

She's beautiful, she's perfect, she's... She's...

...

I don't know how she is. But I know I love her. And that I will save anything because that will make her happy, and I will have made her happy. That's why I'm a hero who will be the hero, the hero of my journey.

I will have this world's eternal gratitude, but I'd trade it for an ephimeral instant of her love.

In the end, I am tranquil. My subconscious may know how to fight, who to fight, who to save. What path to tread. But it knows nothing about the end.

I do.

And it will lead me to the end. With her.

And it will let me discover the path of my adventure.

For the first time.


Again.

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I scribbled this up in half an hour while waiting for my doctor's visit. I started titleing it "Another World", and I was aiming for a kind of trailerish monologue about how the world (videogame world) is far too simple to be true, even for the story I was trying to tell. So the world was going to be a screwed up place, cruel, with no up and down.

But I ended up with a nervous monologue. I know it makes little sense. But picture it as the first time you push a game inside the console, and start it. The first time the hero is created for you.

We know this hero has a story and that we have to help him get through his journey. But he knows far less about this journey than we do! And it's scary, because he knows he's part of a big plan, he just doesn't know why.

But he doesn't reject his subconscioud command--our command, because he knows something we don't. He knows there's this girl waiting for him at the end of the road. He knows she's real, but doesn't mind the why he loves her, because that's love, it needs no sense to be real. And she's real. And so must be the rest of the journey.

And so must be his subconscious. We are a real part of him, in the end. And the most amazing thing is that, for the rest of our lives, he will be part of us.

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